2335 central park ave.
on friday i will officially lose my house. because two strangers living under the same roof for almost thirty years couldn’t make it work. everyone loses their childhood home eventually, but subtly and peacefully. for me it was ripped away and i couldn’t do anything about it.
when i was young i had a nightmare that rattled me so much i slept in my brother’s vacant bunk in his room for two years. furniture, pictures and other items disappeared one by one and before i woke up with a cold sweat my bathroom was completely empty, and it’s frightening to see it happen before my very own eyes. everything i own has been divided, boxed, sold and donated. i am left with two hauntingly unwelcoming houses and another two days that i am granted to call the home on 2335 central park ave. my own.
look at my house, look at my beautiful fucking house. the two windows on the top floor are the windows to my bedroom.
look at the view from my kitchen and know that this is what i’m losing and you’d be aching all over too if you were losing this sight as well. i asked my dad to take a picture of the back garden for me so i can look at it whenever i want, but this isn’t the garden at it’s best.
your bones would ache if you could only see how beautiful it is in person.
i just want the new owners to know that there are numerous ghosts in that house, and none of them play nicely, so welcome home.
roses
currently:
reading: trying to re-delve into watermelon sugar, and attempting to find a copy of dante’s inferno
music: the honorary title, a day to remember, manchester orchestra, 1950s
thoughts: french interview french interview entrevue orale french interview DEMAIN!
nailpolish: toes- pomegranate me a wish (but i don’t like it so i may take it off shortly)
i ask as the closing day for my house quickly approaches and the life that i had currently had has been divided in half and chopped up incessantly, when is it going to end?
i can’t breathe anymore.
des spirites
ever since i can remember i have always had a fascination with ghosts and spirits.
i am sure if i were ever to encounter a ghost face to face i would scream and retreat, but i love audio and visual evidence. my boyfriend and i watch ghost hunting shows on friday and wednesday nights when there is nothing else to do, but today i was just looking at some pictures and found this interesting picture of a “girl spirit” from 1901:
interesting, even though it looks somewhat fake. the site i found this on is in all french but it doesn’t say anything about its history. i suppose i will never know? fine by me.
also, for some interesting images i suggest looking at this tumblr. it features tons of vintage and avant-garde photography that are indeed hauntingly beautiful:
i just realized that this is the last night i will ever spend in the home that i lived nearly my whole life in.
already it is such a sad night.
just a thought,
i am kind of in the mood for old horror movies.
namely, nosferatu and frankenstein.
on family
no, this isn’t a poem.
i’ve been pretty down all day, and what’s fun to vent to that can’t talk back?
my blog.
last night my father tells me that he sold the house. to who? i don’t know, or care. i know everyone has to part from their childhood home at some point in their life, but this is far from willingly: my parents just concluded the long and arduous process of getting divorced. unfortunately, it was very bitter and probably could have landed them a spot somewhere on the Jerry Springer show, but i digress.
in two months i will return home and i will have my one last week there until the house is sold.
[emotions] no comment [/emotions]
and to make matters worse, my four year-old giorgio armani blush broke. the perfect shade for every occasion and one of few shades that don’t make me look like a. a clown or b. an elderly vegas socialite. yeah, i’m still pissed off.
statement of the day!
i may be an english major but my grammar is still so very, very poor.
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